Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks


Indian food and awkwardness

When I am kind of excited about something or looking forward to going somewhere, one of two things usually happens. I am ready early or I mess up my eye make-up.

On Saturday, both happened. I had to take off one-half of my eye make-up and start over because of a major mascara mishap. I don't know why I was so nervous. I guess because I liked this guy and he seemed to be exactly my perfect match. So I was anxious to meet him after two weeks of great e-mails and chatty exchanges.

I scrapped my skirt-plus-tank top outfit in favor of dark jeans, high-heeled sandals, and a camisole under a black chiffon wrap-style top with small flowers on it. I wore my hair straight and my earrings dangled. I did light make-up with glossy lips and capped the look with a slouchy purse.

I looked cute.

The first few minutes were really very awkward. We had agreed to meet at an Indian restaurant I'd always wanted to try. It has a lunch buffet during the week … and apparently on Saturdays as well. And they don't offer a menu when they have a buffet. So, our first action was to awkwardly head over to the buffet.

We had picked Indian food because he's an alleged expert and I'm a neophyte. (And also because my non-meat-eating ways wouldn't be an issue at an Indian restaurant.) So, I head to the vegetarian end of the buffet and he heads to the meat end and I joke, "You might have to give me some pointers," because he's SUPPOSED to be this Indian food expert, right? That's what he told me.

And he says, "Well, not being vegetarian, I can't really say …"

So, I'm trying to remember if I told him that I didn't eat meat. (I try to avoid the V word since I am not strictly vegetarian.) And I did tell him. I even checked sent e-mails after the date and we definitely talked about it. We also talked about how I wanted to get Indian with him so he could give me suggestions on what to try and he'd seemed interested in that and said he'd be happy to show me some good-tasting Indian dishes.

So, I tried a sampling of the food, which was really good. But I was annoyed with the "I'm an expert, No I'm not" attitude with Indian food.

He seemed awkward, like he was unsure of himself. He even dribbled iced tea on his shirt at one point. I like quirky, mildly dorky guys. I like that they're smart and that they're not afraid to actually talk to you about something.

The conversation was nice. A bit one-sided, as I felt he talked more than I did. (Quite an accomplishment.) This isn't bad. Just slightly odd, because I am quite the talker.

So, we talked. We left the Indian place and headed to a coffee shop for a cup of coffee. This is where awkwardness number two happened.

He doesn't drive, says it is an "urban mindset" thing. But we don't live in this huge city with wonderful mass transit. So, I have to drive us to the coffee place. I felt odd doing this because I really barely know this guy and he's in my car.

Coffee was okay. He paid for lunch (I protested) so I insisted on buying the java. Again, nice conversation, but I felt like it started to drag. Like it was forced. And the topics were all very serious and related to what we both do. I'm glad we have common interests, but I was hoping to chat about movies or music or something else other than work-related stuff.

Overall, there's just something missing. The spark. The chemistry. It wasn't there.

When I am attracted to someone, I know it. I feel it. I immediately become aware of the color of my underwear and what kind of bra I'm wearing. When I rest my chin on my hand I feel the sensation of my fingers against the skin on my face. I am aware of everything. I blush and become shy. I feel each strand of hair as I tuck it behind my ear. My ears perk up. I sit up straighter and each breath seems heavier and more important. Coffee tastes better, wine feels smoother in my mouth. Food is spicier and I feel sexy as I eat.

Alas, I couldn't tell you what color bra I was wearing on Saturday and the coffee tasted normal.

We parted. It was awkward. I left; he assured me that he had a way home and that he'd had a good time and enjoyed the conversation.

As I drove off, I let out a long sigh. This guy was perfect in the profile – witty, intelligent. But actual personality doesn't come through online. And you can't predict who you'll ignite the spark in you.

Unfortunately, not for me. Next.



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Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."




Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke



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