Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks

Just as she is

Last night, while I was on the phone with the Relief Worker, I figured out why I am so hesitant and generally wishy-washy about him.


I was settled into my new Sunday night routine, watching "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy" while having a glass of wine. A friend of mine was over and we were debating the relative hotness of the different doctors on the show. Very important stuff.


The Relief Worker called, so I excused myself to the balcony so as to not interrupt the television-watching. He asked what I was doing, and I told him without hesitating, "Drinking a glass of wine and watching TV with a friend."


"Oh, you're all snuggled up with someone?" he asked, which is a lame way of asking if I'm seeing someone.


I assured him that I wasn't and we had a short conversation. Toward the end he said, "Well, it was good talking to you. Go enjoy your bottle of wine."


"Glass," I said. "I'm having a glass of wine."


"Well, one always leads to another," he said. "You know how that works."


And that's when it hit me. I am ambivalent about him because he makes me feel self-conscious about my actions and because no matter what happens, I will always be the "bad" one in the relationship.


I am an adult. I'm 25 and I drink and I wear shirts that show off my cleavage sometimes and I hobble around on three-inch heels. I sometimes smoke and I look forward to a glass of wine after a long week at work. I get manicures and so I don't save as much money as I should and instead of drinking house wine, I'll have a $10 martini.


I stay out (and up) late. I enjoy trashy TV shows and watch silly reality TV when I should be vacuuming or mopping or Windexing something. I eat tater tots and grilled cheese or pizza and potato chips when I should be having a salad and apple slices. I play my music too loud and I dance around my apartment in my bra in the middle of the day without shutting my blinds.


I sleep in or go to brunch instead of church on Sundays. My last thought at night before I go to bed is about what time I should set my alarm. I often skip breakfast, but I always have my coffee. I am slightly addicted to Diet Coke and at least once a week, I sneak off to the vending machine for a white chocolate Reese's peanut butter cup.


And I am fine with it all.


I'm also a good sister and daughter. I love my family and friends. I work hard for less money than I should because I believe that I am helping people. I am a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen and a person you can go to when you just want to laugh. I will cook you dinner (veggies only!) and make dessert.


I will dance all night for your birthday and buy you a drink when your heart is broken. I'll give you advice I know you won't take and I will do my best to avoid saying "I told you so" later. (I sometimes fail at this one.) You can cry to me and I will never tell anyone. You can tease me and I'll tease back.


And what I really need is someone who is fine with it all, too. 

Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."

Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke

Associated Content Interview with Charming
The Hindu: Blog Sisters are here

Links (Updated!)


I'm a C-list Blogebrity

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