So I'm having lunch alone, because all of my work buddies went out to eat. (Because they don't have meetings at 1 p.m.) It's just me and my Amy's Organics and prepackaged carrot sticks. (Is it wrong that I buy those one-serving packs of carrot sticks rather than just packing them myself?)
I think I found a new place. I'm going to see it Friday. It's not exactly what I had wanted, but it's bigger, the price is right and it has a little yard. (Yay for grass.) It's in a good area too. I'm hoping it works out.
Have been out TWICE already this week. And I'm going to regular martini-drinking tonight. I don't know what's come over me. I am starting to believe that I'm not the old lady I think I am ...
Monday night I went to dinner with B and bunch of his friends. They invited me out after dinner, but it was damn near 11 p.m., and I was a little nervous about going out, because I felt this overwhelming niceness toward B. Also, a girl that B obviously has a crush on is moving out of town. Monday night they were going out with her to celebrate one of her last nights in town ... I couldn't stand to watch him get drunk and flirt like that. (I don't think she realizes that he's not happy that she's leaving, but I could tell from the way he said it that he was upset about it.) I know she's had ample opportunity to act on this crush and never has, so I wasn't expecting anything other than flirting.
But I just couldn't watch it on Monday night ... every now and again I just get this nagging pang of attraction to B. Like I never got out that last little bit of wanting him, and it'll always just linger in the background, and most of the time I'll be able to ignore it.
Anyway, it's a feeling that I haven't had in awhile, but I felt it Monday. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, because he's certainly not giving out any vibes. I simply refuse to give in to that even a little bit. I refuse to backslide into a heart-wrenching situation that is only going to cause me stress, no matter how much I like the warmth that bathes over me when I'm caught up in the middle of it and we're hanging out and staying up talking until all hours of the morning. I feel so great while I'm there, but I end up near tears each time I leave.
I think I just haven't spent enough time with him lately. We used to hang out all the time, but we're both really busy lately. So I don't have time to get annoyed with him and wonder why the hell I ever wanted him in the first place.
There's a birthday celebration for a good friend of mine on Friday night. It will be interesting to see which guys show up. Am planning on looking extra fabulous just in case a certain (terribly mean, unworthy of my time) guy comes.
'Tis better to ignore him whilst looking beautiful, no?