Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks


The Burden of Dating Online

After having a so-so time with my first “round” of online dating (three men earned a date – one didn’t work out; one turned out to be a kind of nice guy I see casually sometimes; one I actually dated for a few weeks before he went missing), I was unsure of what to do next. It is October, and I have to be honest when I say that I had high hopes to be dating someone this fall. Spring stereotypically is a time for new love and being in love, or so they say. The flowers and birds and sunshine and nice weather. I get it, I do. For me the fall is a great time. Football. Crisp weather. Close-toed shoes and light sweaters. Friends in town for the weekend. Hot coffee instead of granitas in the morning. Warm jewel tones instead of brights. And it would be a fantastic time to be dating someone. That brings me back to the search. One thing I hate about online dating is the cost. I just subbed to Match.com for three months and the cost was more than $50. That isn’t exactly a huge amount to pay for three months of service – a nice dinner and night a out, a pair of shoes – and I’ll be glad to pay it if I end up getting some dates out of it. But if I continue to strike out, I’m going to wish I’d bought myself a new pair of heels and struck out to find a man the old fashioned way. I’d considered going back to Yahoo! Personals, but I tend to get messages from people who don’t live in the city there. And I’m more likely to get messaged by older guys, it seems. Perhaps it is a stereotype, but Match seems to be where the guys in my dating range in my city seem to be. Either that or I’ve spent more time on my Match profile. Who knows? Also, I’m not sure I’m ready to pay for two dating services at once. Even if it does mean doubling my chance of meeting potential fall dates. There are other things I hate about online dating. The lack of punctuation. The creepy pictures. The very odd e-mails. I got a very odd e-mail on a free dating site recently. (I wish I’d saved it.) It was from a man who lived about 45 minutes away. He was 37. And very direct. He said, “I’m not really here for dating or a relationship. I think that sometimes people have romance. And I’m getting older and it is time for me to have a child. Judging from your picture, our children would be beautiful. I’m sure you get a lot of messages on here. But if you’re ready to make love for a baby, please contact me.” The kicker? On his profile, he was NUDE and, um, AT ATTENTION. (I guess this site didn’t have screeners?) Anyway, I reported his profile for inappropriate photos and moved on. Because, hello, I am no one’s baby factory and far from that desperate. So I’m back to another three months of winks and e-mails on Match and the continuation of the quest to have someone to smooch on New Years Eve.



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Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."




Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke



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