Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks

Wishing and Hoping

Having bronchitis has forced me to slow my pace down to a crawl. I've watched the first half of season 6 of Sex and the City, Mean Girls, both Bridget Jones movies and a slew of really bad TV shows during this past weekend. I tried to read, but found that TV watching was preferable, as copious amounts of codeine cause me to slip in and out of sleep, making reading difficult. I'm taking a very exact combination of medicines that does not knock me out all day, but also does not prevent me from getting numerous cat naps. (This was great when I was taking sick days and not-so-great at work today.) The influx of girlie-type movies and shows combined with a persistent loopiness got me thinking about my approach to dating. I've always used the "Watched Pot Never Boils" method of playing the field. I avoid going out trolling for men, because you never find them when you're looking. (Once I find one to lust after, all bets are off and I abandon Watched Pot and go right to "A Little Obsession Never Hurt Anyone" mode. Not good.) I've been the girl in the bar who dressed for attention. I was young and we were hunting for boys so we dressed the part. It's tiring and time-consuming and shallow and I hate it. Looking like you're on the prowl, in my mind, only attracts men who are on the prowl. And I've always thought that guys who were out looking to hook-up every night were douchebags. This is how I adopted the Watched Pot method. It's not that I stopped going out and trying to meet people -- I've just stopped searching like finding a man is the only thing I'm interested in. But I'm afraid I've become too good at this. I think I've become detached from the whole scene and feel of meeting people. And while my aim was to come across as open to meeting someone, but not existing solely to seek out a suitor, I think I come off as closed and aloof and snobby. Not good. To combat this, I started looking into online dating sites. Actively seeking matches via personals is the exact opposite of the Watched Pot method. Sometimes you need a shock to your system. Now, I did an eHarmony trial for the hell of it a year or so ago and I hated it. I'm not on the marriage track and I don't think I got past picking silly questions for the other person to answer with anyone. So, I found a free dating site and put together a profile. I didn't publish it because I wanted to go through some pictures from a party to find a cute one. I planned to update the profile and post it today, just to see what would happen. I went back, picture in hand (figuratively, obviously), but I stopped myself. It just didn't feel right. I can't narrow down what I want in a guy or a relationship using a series of checkboxes and forms. I'm not ready to discount people because they're 36 and my age range was 25 to 35 or because I drink regularly and they drink socially. (Plus, I took a look at what was out there, and people are odd in what they specify. One guy wrote about working out at a gym based on Christian principles. I don't even know what that means! I thought gyms were based on principles of health and wellness or something. Another guy flat out said that he was very conservative, totally Republican, very traditional and by-the-book, but then put that erotica turned him on. Now, I'm making a snap judgment, but I don't think he knows what erotica is in this sense. I'm thinking he likes porn and thinks Playboy is erotica ...) Anyway, not to sound snobby or judgmental, but I'm not ready to boil my hunt down to checkboxes and profiles and witty banter that's less than 1000 characters. It just all seems so artificial. My current tactics may have failed miserably, but I can't even fathom one of these dating sites working at all. At all. I've got to fine the happy medium between Aloof and Standoffish and Watched Pot. Do not expect that to happen this weekend, though. I've got some mild beautification (a mani-pedi) planned, but that's about all I'm doing. I have grounded myself from going out until I am off of my heavy-duty scary purple particle inhaler. (Seriously, that's what it is.) Send Netflix recommendations and recipes for deep conditioning hair treatments, please.

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Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."

Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke

Associated Content Interview with Charming
The Hindu: Blog Sisters are here

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