When I leaned in to The Nurse and gave him a light peck before pulling away and smiling shyly, I didn't do it because I wanted to tease him or play hard to get or leave him wanting more.
I didn't kiss him because I was uncomfortable standing in front of a shopping center, afternoon traffic, more than 100 cars and the summertime heat. There were people with children, for crying out loud!
The thing is, I don't think most guys like it when you play hard to get. Maybe as a bit of foreplay … being coy with a boy, acting shy and sweet when he knows you are far from it –- I think this can be a fun form of flirting. But I'd hardly base my entire dating philosophy on the idea that because some people like the thrill of the chase and the agony of wondering when the teasing will stop I should my physical feelings and those of my date.
No thank you. If I want it, I go for it. Truth is, I could have pushed him up against the car and made out with him. And I would have because I have no qualms about going for what I want.
That said, I think restraint can be sexy. Leaving something to the proper time and place is worth it. Timing is very important. Why self consciously kiss in a busy parking lot where I'm uptight and nervous when I could wait and ultimately have a better experience later?
And, I hardly think my unwillingness to kiss The Nurse made any difference to him either way.
He called on Tuesday.*
* I was at a family function. When I spoke to him later, he had wanted me to come help him pick out a shirt and tie for his sister's wedding before he left to go out of town until next Monday. He'd already been shopping, so I had to decline. My friends are split on the appropriateness of this, with some thinking it is a bit early for such a "girlfriend" kind of activity, while others think this means he just wanted a cute way to see me again before he left. And talking about this all day via e-mail to the Dating by Committee girls has made me giddy to see him again.