Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks

The Second Date

Note: The first date is recapped here. Read that first if you haven't already. For context. The IT Guy asked me out for to a movie on Saturday night. I had plans to get drinks with Southern Belle, but I was genuinely excited about going out with him again. He had suggested seeing “Cars,” but I had little desire to see an animated movie, so he suggested “The Break Up.” I’m a huge fan of Vince Vaughn, so I was game for seeing this movie and happy to be seeing the IT Guy again. I even cleaned the living room and kitchen of my apartment so that he wouldn’t think I was a slob when he picked me up. When he arrived, on time, I was slightly underwhelmed by his outfit. I’d worn nice jeans and a brown and pink baby doll-style shirt, high-heeled wedges with a touch of bling. I’d moussed my hair and let it air dry so it was curly and then I’d pinned the front back and glossed my lips. I dressed casually but cute, figuring we’d get coffee or dinner after. Saturday is Date Night, afterall. He wore tapered jeans, a bar T-shirt and tennis shoes. I looked past this, even though it made me feel as if he didn’t think the date was important. We got tickets, waited in a long line for popcorn and drinks and I confessed that I have a huge crush on Vince Vaughn. We joked back and forth about our celebrity crushes and I felt the chemistry from our first date, which made me smile. We found seats the crowded theatre. We talked some during the before feature video they show at the theatre and he talked some during the previews. I assumed he’d quiet down during the actual movie. I was wrong. He talked throughout and laughed loudly. Louder than anyone else in the place. You could pick his loud laugh out of the whole crowd. I was mortified. I was at the movie with That Guy. I pushed this to the back of my mind. He is a nice person and I enjoyed spending time with him and slight annoyances can be ignored, I thought. The movie was really good – funny but also as realistic as a romantic comedy can be about what actually happens in a break up. Throughout the entire movie, the IT Guy kept saying, “This brings back memories” or “That hits close to home,” particularly during times when the couple would fight. Now, he is divorced. And I knew this going in. But I’d assumed he was ready to date, seeing as he’d asked me out twice and been out on other dates through the online dating service where we met. The movie ended. It wasn’t the typical ending you’d expect. Most of my friends who’ve seen it agreed that there were some sad parts, but that it was hardly a depressing movie overall. We started talking while we waited for the crowd to leave. “That was rough for me,” he said. “Excuse me?” “That movie really hit home for me,” he said. I looked at him and I could see that his eves were filled with tears. He looked to the side and brushed them away and said nothing about it, I guess because he didn’t think I’d noticed because the credits were still rolling. But I saw the tears and my inner monologue kept yelling, “Red flag! Red flag! Back away from Your Crying Date!” “Yes, um, break ups are hard,” I said, surveying the theater (and date) for an emergency exit. He took my hand and held onto it as we exited the theatre. I smiled and wriggled away as we neared the restroom. I excused myself to the ladies room and told him I’d meet him in the lobby. As soon as the door closed, I reached for my cell and called Southern Belle. “Where are you?” I asked. “At the [Wine Bar] downtown,” she said. “How’s your date going?” “I’ve got to ditch him,” I said. “That well?” she teased. “[Southern Belle], he cried during ‘The Break Up,’” I said. “He teared up because he said it ‘hit too close to home.’ He is obviously not over being divorced.” “He did NOT! You’re lying!” “I am NOT. He cried. I saw it. He is not over his Ex wife. MY DATE CRIED.” “You’ve got to get out of there.” “I know,” I said. “I’ll see you in a half hour for an emergency glass of wine.” I hung up and looked in the mirror, trying to regain my composure. It was then that I heard the laughter behind me. I turned around to see a group of women who’d overheard my conversation. They were giggling uncontrollably and I’d been so frantically locked in my own world that I hadn’t noticed that I had an audience. “I am so sorry, I did not mean to eavesdrop,” one woman said. “I shouldn’t laugh. But that is hysterical.” At first I was annoyed. Then I remembered that I was in public and I’d probably laugh myself if it hadn’t happened to me. I had a chuckle with them and headed out to find my date. We walked to the car and he continued talking about the movie hitting close to home. I’d hoped my bathroom break had given him a chance to right himself and pick a new topic, other than his divorce. I was wrong. “Well, um, I saw Vince Vaughn on Jay Leno and he said that they wanted to make it realistic,” I offered. “Well, it WAS a bit TOO realistic for me,” he said. “Yes, um, break ups are hard,” I offered. “But as long as you, um, don’t stay bitter over them, I find that it can, um, be better.” I was rambling. I was terribly uncomfortable. I do my best to keep my neuroses and heartbreaks to myself while on dates, thankyouverymuch. For this exact reason. “I’ve only had one really bitter break up. In college,” he said. “Oh?” I said, thinking, “Um, sounds like you’re forgetting your divorce, buddy.” “Yeah, I burned all of her stuff.” “Um, um, oh,” I said, thinking, “WHY would you tell me this on a date?” “Sure did,” he said. “Wanna go get some coffee?” “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “I skipped Girls Night Dinner and, um, I will be kicked out if I, um, don’t meet up with them for drinks.” He brought me back to my apartment and walked me to the door. I was terribly uncomfortable when he leaned in to kiss me on the lips. I kept my mouth firmly shut and he didn’t and there was an awkward moment when he actually sucked on my tightly clamped lips. He asked if he could see me again. Without thinking, I said, “Um, just, call me.” He smiled. “Great! I won’t call, but I’ll see you online.”

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Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."

Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke

Associated Content Interview with Charming
The Hindu: Blog Sisters are here

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