Charming, but single

I received a very beautiful wedding invitation in the mail from one of my dear girlfriends. She is getting married in April and I am very excited about her wedding, because it is an opportunity for some of our old crew to reunite and drink wine together in dressy clothes while we dance around like morons. And if I have a chance to dance around like a moron with old college drinking buddies, I am going to take it every time. I tucked the directions to the wedding in my dayplanner and made a note to ask for a day off from work to hang out with the out-of-towners either before or after the wedding. I wondered about the likelihood of getting a hotel room in New Orleans for the night after the wedding without having to give my first born, since they (obviously) were unable to book a block of rooms. I was completing the RSVP card when I faced the dreaded, “Number attending” blank. I had overlooked that the invitation was addressed to me “and Guest,” which is on its face a well-meaning bride’s way of telling her single friends who aren’t in relationships, “I believe you’ll be in a meaningful relationship by the time of our wedding.” But anyone who has ever received an invitation addressed to them “and Guest,” knows that it can feel a bit pitiful, like, “We know that you haven’t been able to snag a man during the past 26 years, and we’re doubtful that you’ll be able to find one in the next several weeks, but, hey, stranger things have happened …” I contemplated the “Number attending” blank. The pessimist in me says I should just go alone. The optimist in me thinks that my luck with men has been so bad for so long that something’s gotta give. It’s just the law of averages. I will trip over a guy tomorrow and he will be the one and we will go to the wedding together, says the optimist. The realist in me, however, knows that the RSVP card needs to be back by the end of February. So, if this is the end of January, that means I have ONE MONTH to secure a date and be able to respond with “2” as the “Number attending.” But I am handicapped by one unfortunately placed holiday -- Valentine’s Day. Hunting for a man between now and V-Day is pretty pointless, as I know no rational, sane man who would want to start something less than three weeks before the Official Holiday of Couples. So, the earliest the Hunt for the Wedding Date can begin in February 15. The RSVP should be mailed back by Feb. 22 to allow the Post Office three business days to get the card back to my friend. So, if my math and calendar skills are correct, I have ONE WEEK, Feb. 15 to Feb. 22, to find a suitable date for the wedding of a good friend (which means I will be drunk and babbling and in need of affection). And because the whole thing is out of town, it probably includes a night in a hotel, if one can be located, which only adds a layer of stress to the whole event. (And yes, I am this neurotic. Perhaps I should be medicated.) I’m just so tired of going to these things alone. My two good friends who I will be hanging out with will have dates because one is married already and the other has a serious live-in boyfriend. And to make matters worse, there is a possibility that a Drunken Mistake of mine will be in attendance. I had hoped that Drunken Mistake wouldn’t be invited, but given the odd people who are included, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did get an invite. (This makes the whole situation even more touchy, since there is some messiness between my Drunken Mistake and one of the Bridesmaids in addition to the obvious obnoxiousness between me and my Drunken Mistake.) If Drunken Mistake IS there and I don’t have a date, I will be pretty pissed and may have to be kept away from the bar. So, I suppose I should go on a marathon of bar and party hopping mid-February?