Charming, but single

If I could give back one piece of time-saving technology, it would be Google. Sure, I love Internet search engines. I use Google constantly throughout the day, even searching for Web site addresses I already know, because it is easier to just Google something and move on. Google and other search engines are powerful tools. Without them I would never be notified almost immediately when a news story about my organization was published (Google News Alerts), be such an e-mail packrat (Gmail) or find exactly every store on the Internet where I can purchase a black hobo-styled purse or green D’orsay pumps (Froogle). But with great power comes great temptation and I’m not always able to resist the less practical (and borderline stalkerish) aspects of Google. And my intense curiosity paired with slightly neurotic single girl tendencies makes me a prime candidate for indulgent Googling. A high school classmate here, a co-worker there, and pretty soon I can’t quit and I’ve Googled every damn guy who has ever coughed in my direction, his friends, place of employment and girlfriends. And so I would give Google’s life-altering features all up, even forsaking convenient accessory shopping if I could never be able to easily access information about former flings, limited only by how quickly I can click my mouse. I have quit smoking. I have stopped biting my nails. I have traded copious amounts of fat and carbs for low-cal fare. Now, I must give up obsessing about the past. And so the end-all-be-all of search engines must go. Goodbye Google. It was fun while it lasted.