Charming, but single

A journal in dates and drinks

FYI -- Updated 2/1 (Updated again 2/5)

(Note: This is the last update on this subject. I just didn't want to have 12 different posts about this. The update is at the bottom.) Just in case it was not clear before, the writing on this blog belongs to me. I know I do not have my picture and my name out there, but trust me, there is a person behind these words and she is very much real and she very much feels these things and she very much lives through all of the events contained in this blog. For better or for worse, this blog is mine. Warts and all. Good posts and bad. Brilliant writing and crappy lists. So to say that I would appreciate it if people would avoid taking my work and posting it on their blog (or in other publications) as their own is the understatement of the century. I will go so far as to say that you SHOULD NOT FOR ANY REASON take writing from this blog ("Charming, but Single") and pass it off as your own. (Really, you shouldn't do that to any blogger or writer, but that's neither here nor there now is it?) I just wanted to make sure that my stance on this issue was CRYSTAL CLEAR. For now, that is the only statement I would like to make on this matter. Update 2/1/06: I appreciate the support from my regular readers about this. I posted this short post last night when I was upset and angry and slightly fearful that someone else would take (or already was taking) credit for my work. I will be adding a disclaimer on the site somewhere and I am reading up on Creative Commons liscenses. Not that a disclaimer would stop anyone ... The ease of blogging is a double-edged sword. I love that I can have a thought and almost immediately publish it. The down side is that anyone can easily copy and paste my work and pass it off as theirs. This is compounded by the fact that it is easy to feel detached from those bloggers who are anonymous. And, there's no "governing" body on the Web like there is in other mediums. If a columnist from a national magazine cribs from another writer, there are lawyers and editors and publishers involved. The blogosphere doesn't have this. (Which is also both good and bad.) Also, blogs so often quote each other that lines get crossed. I do not believe that is what happened in this situation because of the way my work was integrated into the other blog. As a rule of thumb, I'd say people should give credit (including links WITH the quoted text) to the blogs they are quoting so that the author can follow his or her work through Technorati, trackbacks or sitemeters. When in doubt, ask before you quote! People have asked how I found out. I received two anonymous comments last night on two of the posts that were plagiarized heavily (word for word, including the titles!) on the front page of someone's personal blog. I hoped this was a misunderstanding or that something was just improperly linked or sourced. This, unfortunately, was not the case. Upon further reading of the blog, I found much of my work intersperced with what I assume are the author's own works. Whole posts of mine were reposted with minor edits in some cases and in others a few paragraphs would be inserted in a piece. It was weird. (Ironically, one of the posts was about how I saw both the good and bad in myself and wanted to be with someone who loved me because of and in spite of it all. So, I wrote a post specific to my flaws and fabulousness and someone else stole it to describe themself. CLASSIC.) I sent the blogger an e-mail that basically said, "I read your blog. I do not appreciate you passing my work off as your own. I do not think you are a bad person, but if you do not take my content off of your blog by tomorrow evening, I will make a big deal out of this and I will make your URL known." (As politely as I could, given the circumstances.) The offending content was removed almost as soon as I posted my little diatribe about not stealing my work. (I saved a copy of the original Web site and bookmarked the link and I will be checking in, trust me. TRUST ME.) I removed the two comments with the blogger's URL from my blog tonight. I wasn't going to, but I thought it was confusing for people to go to the blog now that my content gone. Also, I didn't want to send any traffic or readers to someone who was stealing my stuff. I want to thank the person who notified me. Unfortunately it is tough to catch these things because of the sheer number of blogs out there. You're pretty powerless to stop it and unless you regularly Google snippets of your own work, you'd never really know that it had happened. I would have never known if someone had not pointed it out to me, and I appreciate it. Please do not take me deleting the comments to mean that I was trying to censor the readers or anything like that. People are free to write what they want in the comments, but I felt like I had good reason to delete these two. The only thing bloggers can do in these situations is work together and notify each other when someone is stealing work from a blog. And, if someone refuses to take the writing down, then we'll just have to use our numbers to influence them, right? Update 2/5/06 : The site has been shut down by the owner once she was confronted in her comments by at least four other bloggers from whom she plagiarized. (Including RudePundit, Cutting to the Chase, and Carly Milne) This included a post about the "James Frey is a liar" controversy, which is so damn funny and ironic that I giggled when I found that out. And the thought of limiting people from copying and pasting is probably a bit extreme, but I appreciate the concern. I want other bloggers to be able to quote from here (if it is attributed and linked) and I want to be able to post (attributed) quotes (with links) from other blogs if I feel so inspired. The blogosphere is based on ongoing conversation, often across blogs, and I love that. Also, I just can't fathom that someone would steal my bad dates, awkward phone calls and wine-related disasters for their blog. I mean, really. And that is the end of that. Hopefully. Thanks for the love.

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Charming, but single is 25 26 27(!), lives in the Southern part of the U.S.A. and likes both her drinks and her boys tall. E-mail (listed below) her and she may respond. You can also IM her in AIM/AOL. (If she ever remembers to sign on.)
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Former taglines of this blog: "A Journal in Dates and Drinks" and "A Dateless Journal of Drinking."

Those Particulars
Some Backstory
Memories of the Way We Were
Updates and Towel Snapping
One Year Wrap-Up
Just As She Is
An Open Letter to Myself
After 26 years, she HAS learned something
An Open Letter to the Men Who Message Me Through Match
Sharing a smoke

Associated Content Interview with Charming
The Hindu: Blog Sisters are here

Links (Updated!)


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