Charming, but single

I am currently engaged in a two-week round of phone tag with my Best Friend From High School, who is really my Best Friend Ever, so we'll call her my BFE. She went to school in a good-sized city about 8-to-10 hours from where I live, depending on how fast you drive. (Sometimes I miss her so much that I think I could make it four or six.) We had a stupid fight before she left for college and we didn't talk for a few months. And then we started talking again and now, thanks to free nights and weekends, we talk for hours on end and I try to make at least one trip to see her a year and she usually makes it here at least once or twice each year. (Honestly, I couldn't tell you what our pre-college fight was about if my life depended on it. I think the real issue was that we didn't want to say goodbye, so we just fought. Probably.) I love all of my friends, but secretly, I love BFE the best. When I was stuck in retail, hunting for a better job, and I felt like I would never find one, she was more supportive than anyone else I knew. She was working at a restaurant and stuck in the same boat (a much more lucrative boat than mine, but a boat nonetheless). She told me a million times that I could put my stuff in storage, pack some clothes and move in with her. Even if it took me months to find a better job, she said I'd be ok. She'd get me a job at her restaurant and teach me how to wait tables and we'd be fine. I never took her up on it, but I always believed that if I did, we would have been fine. And now we both have better jobs and we are fine. Just in different cities. Aside from my mom, BFE was the FIRST person I called when I finally got offered the Dream Job. I was actually late to the celebration of me for getting a new job because I was sitting in the parking lot of the bar talking to BFE on my cell phone about said job. In the phone-tree of "Things that are important to S," BFE is the first non-blood relative who gets a call. (Now I'm getting a teary-eyed. This post was supposed to be funny!) Anyway, we're playing phone tag. Phone tag of epic proportions. I think we're at round 10 or something. The first rounds were simple. "This is S, call me back." "Hey! It's BFE, give me a ring later." But now it's gotten rather ridiculous and we're just leaving each other really long and slightly obnoxious messages. (And these are not verbatim at all. At all. Also, these obviously aren't ALL of the messages.) From her to me:

"S, this is BFE. I think I'm being stood up. Seriously, I am. I am at the bar and nothing. Nothing! I can't believe ..."

From me to her:

"BFE, this is S. How dare a man stand you up! He is clearly unworthy of your time. Feel better! I can't even get to the point where a man would be able to stand me up lately ..."

From her to me:

"S! New guy just broke a date en route to meeting me. This is just great! I don't understand ... "

From me to her:

"PROMISE ME you aren't getting married. PROMISE. Everyone is getting married but me and it wouldn't feel so lonely if you weren't getting married too ..."

After that message, we had a 5-minute conversation.

BFE: I can't talk right now, because my food just came. I wanted to check on you. Are you ok? S: I'm great! You'd tell me if you were getting married, right? BFE: You're drunk, aren't you? S: Am not! Ok, maybe just a little bit. BFE: I'm not getting married. It will be okay. You are not the only person who's not getting married. I promise. Stop drinking. Can I call you later?

She did call me later, but I was passed out in bed. The message:

"S, I was just calling to check on you. Call me and tell me you're ok."

I meant to call her the next day, but I got busy and I got another message from her. So, I called her back. The message:

"Hey. I'm fine. I was being dramatic. Also, why did I even BOTHER wanting this job? Seriously, I never get enough done and I'm never caught up and ..."

Then, it was her turn.

"Hey! This is damn near ridiculous. I'm at Wal-Mart getting groceries. Call me!"

Less than an hour later, I left this:

"Sorry! Hope Wal-Mart was fun. I've been drinking champagne and watching 'Sex and the City' with some friends ..."

Yesterday, she left me this message:

"I swear you must be the BUSIEST person in the world. I mean really. Call me, because ..."

So, I left her this:

"Who's the busiest person now, missy! Sorry, I was at the spa getting a brow wax and a massage. It was a present. Jealous? Seriously, give me a call, because ..."

I didn't get a response, but I left her this later:

"Ok, so, just a little FYI. I am heading to a party where there will be at least two boys I've hooked up with and probably numerous boys that I've made out with. I'm serious. Like, four or five, maybe? Or three? I don't know, but more than one is too many. Also, my mom saw me dressed in my going-out clothes and she told me to make sure my boob didn't fall out of my shirt! Is that bad?"

Now she's it. And she better hurry, because free weekends end soon, and free nights aren't all they're cracked up to be.