So not feeling the workweek. Worn out. Totally worn out.
Going to see another apartment at lunch.
As much as I want to rent the wonderful nice apartment in a cute neighborhood (!) with awesome floors and beautiful ceilings and a well-kept garden and covered parking right by my door, I can't. We'd have to rename this blog, "Charming, but totally too poor to make use of it." I did a budget spreadsheet and the outlook was not pretty. (I am such a mega dork. I swear.)
I had almost convinced myself that I really could not buy any new clothes for a year and never go out to dinner or on weekend vacays. I didn't need pedicures, ever. I can (and probably should) just pluck my own eyebrows.
However, I drew the line when I calculated how much I'd have to cut my adult beverage consumption back by ... I am not going back to drinking boxed wine because I am not in college anymore. I am an adult, and I work too hard to not have a martini or six in my spare time.
Also, in super nice awesome apartment, I wouldn't even be able to afford cable. I lived without cable when I was in school, but now I make four (or more) times what I did then. I did without back then, but now I don't feel like I should have to. Also, what would I do if I couldn't watch the Daily Show before bed? Watch the actual news? As if!
So, as much as it is burning a little hole in my soul, I can't take the nice apartment. I can (and have) found several other places that are much more affordable and in similar neighborhoods. If the place isn't rented in a week or so, I'm going to call the landlady and see if I can haggle, but I think this is a lost cause.
Looking at my finances was good for me, though. It was a nice reality check that I think I needed. Yes, I lived on much less when I was in school, but that doesn't mean I can buy four (yep, FOUR) pairs of shoes and two purses every month. It doesn't mean I can eat out three times a week for lunch and all the time for dinner.
So, I've kind of had a mini-epiphany as of late. (As you can see.) I just have this tendency to be so damn extreme all of the time, whether its with shopping or going out or working too much. I'm meeting myself coming and going these days.
Thus the more stripped-down place, with a tighter budget in place and better schedule. (Also more boys. Can I get more boys? Please?) Also, and I'm even hesitant to type this, no more smoking. At this point, my addiction is all psychological. I can go days without smoking. So I will. Forever. (Yeah, we're all happy about this now, but who's going to be there to rip the cigarettes from my hand at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night when I've had three glasses of wine and reeeeally want just ONE?)
Being a grown-up sucks. Hardcore.
Is it Friday yet?
(Also, are people just screwing with me now? I'm getting visitors off of a search in some obscure search engine for "Tips on how to Jerk Off." I am SO terribly serious. As if I'm not sexually harassed enough in real life ... and, if you have to search for that, not even the Internet can help you and THAT, my friend, is saying A LOT.)
(Also, part 2: Do I seem hermit-like? It's been insinuated that I've become hermit-like.)