Something in a shade of gray
Published by charming, but single on 11.12.2006 at 11/12/2006 10:02:00 PM.
It’s hard for me to comprehend that I’m actually actively seeking a man right now. It’s so odd. I’ve always shrugged off my single status as a consequence of me not finding the right man. And that I needn’t look so hard because he would find me. Or we’d find each other. Fate and all of that good stuff. Then I turned 26 and all hell broke loose emotionally and I realized that I didn’t want to wake up 10 years from now alone and not at least be able to say that I’d tried. (If I’m never going to find The One, I don’t want it to be because I spent my life hiding under covers away from human contact.) But what next? Bored with online dating, tired of trying to find Him in smoky bars and wondering where to go. I get tired of it all, spend weekends alone. I scrunch my nose up at the guys who might be available. I’m too picky. Or sometimes, not picky enough, so I end up wasting time of guys when I know there’s no hope for a future. And this causes me to wonder if I’m at the point in my life where it is worth dating someone who isn’t The One. And then I get all stressed that I’m overthinking and that I should be having fun and not worrying so much about biological clocks and life schedules. I’m stalled. Or maybe I’m stalling. There’s a fine line between the two.
