There was a time when I used to get all excited about my new matches from online dating. I’d get the little “potential matches” e-mails and think, “Oh! New guys! Yay!” Now, not so much. My thrice weekly match.com e-mail of potential matches recommends that I could "match" with the following people:
- A guy I went to elementary school with, not to be confused with any of the other guys I went to school with that it has tried to set me up with.
- The Nurse, which is nice, because it's good to know that Match thinks I'm compatible with a guy I'm dating.
- A guy who has a screenname that indicates that he is a "nuclear" provider of oral pleasure for women. (Seriously.)
- A man who is, no lie, dressed in a tux with no shoes and is standing with one foot on the ground and one propped up really high on the arm of a couch. (Really? That's the BEST picture you have?) Also, he doesn't want kids, which is not in line with my preferences at all. (Even when I SAY what I want I don’t get it!)